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What is my philosophy for a successful relationship?

It would greatly simplify the job of explaining my philosophy on relationships if it could be summed up in a single sentence or a short paragraph that could be applied to all situations. Unfortunately, the relationships that exist are too complex to lend themselves to such simple packaging. However, it is possible to identify the fundamental values, that when applied to all areas of relationships, will encompass the total spectrum of my responsibilities in a relationship. At the core of my philosophy on relationships are the following principles:

• Fairness - All transactions must be fair to all parties to the transaction. Transactions in a relationship are any and all exchanges, negotiations, and interactions between the parties of the relationship.
• Value - The benefits dispensed by me must represent value to the recipient. By the same token, I expect to receive value in return.

I strongly believe that any type of relationship will succeed using a Round Table philosophy based on these core values. On this round table is a pie cut into equal pieces and distributed equally around the table. The pie represents the purpose of the relationship, and the pieces represent the distribution of the benefits of the relationship. As long as the benefits are properly distributed it does not matter where you sit at the table. It is a mutually beneficial relationship. However, let the distribution of benefits get out of balance and the relationship is doomed.

A relationship based on this balanced round table philosophy will continue to survive and prosper. The parties only need to focus on the purpose of the relationship. If the distribution of benefits get imbalanced the focus will shift to the competitions and struggles needed to protect your interests. Distrust and resentment become the negative focus in an unbalanced relationship and it cannot survive.

I could expand, at length, on the flow of benefits to and from members of a relationship, but it would only add emphasis to our interdependencies. We obviously are in need of each other.

Larry Carlisle